Why is Everyone so mad at Aamir Khan?

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EPISODE: IV 
TOPIC:
 Why is Everyone so mad at Aamir Khan?
BLOG: Economic Times
WRITER: Sudeshna Sen
MOOD: Sarcasm

editorial

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MEANINGS are given in BOLD and ITALIC

As ET’s international commentator, I should be analysing the dystopic(An imagined place or state in which everything is unpleasant or bad) science fiction(Fiction refers to books and stories about imaginary people and events, rather than books about real people or events. PLEASE NOTE SHE SAID SCIENCE FICTION and not SCIENCE FICTION BOOKS) state of the world, with bombs and planes and who knows who on what side. But sorry, I just can’t help poking(If you poke someone or something, you quickly push them with your finger or with a sharp object.) my nose into the Aamir Khan controversy.

Personally, I find it almost as funny as the convoluted(Complicated) knots the Brits(British) often get themselves into. I am going to try and maintain a suitably dignified(calm and impressive) approach, but honestly, I feel like falling over and laughing all over the floor, just like we used to do when the young Aamir hung outside the windows of our college science lab for hours. Never mind why.

Seriously, Aamir may be a great filmmaker and all that, but he really shouldn’t shoot his mouth off without a nanny(A nanny is a woman who is paid by parents to look after their child or children.). Why is everyone so mad at him? Because he hasn’t, like Shahrukh, addressed the intolerance issue at a social or cultural level. He was silly enough to personalise it, quoting his wife. Obviously, anybody who knows anything about Bollywood would be incensed(extremely angry); hence the industry backlash(strong reaction). His wife, a Hindu, by Allah, is worried about the future of her son, Hey Ram, so she wants to leave the country. Umm, was Mr Khan planning to take his previous family, two older children, Muslim, one ex-wife, also a Hindu, when he runs off ? Because it’s so scary to live in India? D’oh(An exclamation of distaste or dislike).

Of course, that isn’t funny. This ‘let’s go leave the country’ theme is something I’ve heard so many times, mostly from the rich and fat-cats of India; they have no idea what it’s like to really emigrate( you leave your own country to live in another country.). I did it as a job imperative(vital or extremely important), but it’s like getting three root canals at once without anaesthetic(WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I WANT TO HEAR THIS FROM YOU GUYS. 🙂 ). Of course, technically, it’s easy for rich people to emigrate, I’m assuming to the US or Britain, or some nice taxhaven(A haven is a place where people or animals feel safe, secure, and happy.) like Monaco or Malta. Money gets you a resident visa. All these places are stuffed with Indian rich lists, who are domiciled there for well, tax reasons.

Now Mr and Mrs Khan, if you were to really emigrate out of fear, like all those poor Syrians, and actually have to live wherever you go, what would you do for a living? Bollywood superstars cut no ice(have no influence or effect) in Hollywood, London, Nice etc. You could go to Russia or Syria, but … . First off, you’d have to realise that however rich you are, and however A-list in India, you’re a nobody there; you’d have to retire, or keep going back to India to work. Without your child, tsk, tsk, for his safety.

It takes a lot of humility(not pride) and adjustment, when you’re used to being treated like royalty, to just be seen as yet another snotty(If you describe someone as snotty, you disapprove of them because they have a very proud and superior attitude to other people. – USED INFORMALLY) rich immigrant; the local operator who won’t fix your Wi-Fi will not care who you are Mr – they’ll just ask you spell your name thrice. Anyway, the Russians and Greeks are richer. And while you can have your nanny, and three maids, and a butler(MALE servant), please remember that they’ll just walk out when their shifts are over, never mind your shooting schedules. They don’t care who you are.

Mrs Khan, you may be the best filmmaker in India. But you’re short (by western standards), brown, female, with a funny name, you don’t have a degree from Columbia or Oxford — so you have a multiple minority syndrome. Oh, they’ll be nice and let you make documentaries. But you aren’t tall, white, male, silver haired, with the right school tie. So you are nobody. Tough. Mr Khan — ditto(same to same) for you, except you are male, and will tick off the tall white etc etc, potential investors since you have been previously successful. But you are still a minority. And umm, old. By their standards. More Tough.

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